accidents and consequences
by CrazyCatMelody
Summary: The Doctor's side of Why Do You Follow me? The Doctor tries to juggle Alicia Bennett with other companions. Having her turn up in the wrong order and seeing two of them in the same day can be hard. Especially when Rose becomes jealous of a six year old, Martha finds out more than the Doctor would like and he keeps losing his precious cargo only to find her, sooner or later.
1. Chapter 1

He wasn't sure what had made him think of it but for some reason the Doctor was trying to remember a certain mating ritual. Or, as he would put it later, marriage. How did it go? That's right, make your mind go blank, he hummed. No, wait, that was some kind of Earth meditation. Yes make your mind go blank. That was right, but no humming. But what was next? Was there something to do with pictures? He couldn't quite remember. Oh, the chanting! There was the chanting. What next? Ah, that was the pictures. He saw pictures... He didn't think he had thought of them, or the chanting, which meant he could have... There was an image of a solar system, followed by a planet, and a girl. A young girl, a child. School age. He didn't recognise her.

"Doctor, what are you doing?"

He sat up straight and gave Rose one of his signature smiles. "I think I may have done something terrible."

"If its so terrible then why are you grinning like a Cheshire cat?"

"Because it might be wonderful." He ran to the TARDIS console and put it into flight.

"Where are we going?"

The Doctor remembered that Rose couldn't, shouldn't, be in on this. Not yet. The TARDIS landed and he stepped through the blue double doors.

"Rose, stay here, this is personal."

Rose would have argued but personal was personal and the Doctor was, well, the Doctor so personal could mean anything.

"Call me if you get in trouble, yeah?"

"Nothing bad could possibly happen." Yet.

"You said you'd done something terrible."

"I said I could have and I also said it could be wonderful."

"What is 'it'?"

"That's personal." He walked off, shutting the door behind him. He was in a school. This was definitely the right place. Earth, England, Birmingham. She was here, he was sure of it. He found the Deputy Head Teacher, or rather the Teacher walked into him. He immediately produced his psychic paper.

"Oh, please come into my office."

The Doctor looked at his psychic paper and followed the Deputy into his office. It said he was a detective. Interesting choice, it fitted well for the situation.

"Mr Hansel." The man introduced himself, putting a hand out. The Doctor took it. "What can I do for you?"

The Doctor thought for a moment and a name floated into his mind.

"I need to see Alicia Bennett. If possible I would like to talk to her alone."

"Of course, I'll go and get her. You can use my office to talk in. Is it something we need to know about?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to discuss the situation with anyone else."

The Deputy bit his lip. "Yes, I'll be back in a moment."

A few minutes later he came back with a small child, around six years old. He couldn't help himself, he grinned. He couldn't tell a six-year-old what had happened, but he could introduce himself.

"Hello, I'm the Doctor."

"But, I'm not ill."

"I know." What could he say to such a young child about what happened? She was too young, she wouldn't understand any of it. So, he just said this.

"I'm here to see you because you're a very special person."

"I'm special?"

He knelt down so that he could look at her properly. He wanted to touch her, but he got the feeling he shouldn't, not yet, not when she was so little, so fragile.

"Oh you're very special, more special than the sun."

The confused look she gave him was cute.

"Why am I special?"

He hesitated. He couldn't tell her yet. He reached for her and stopped himself.

"Just know that you are special and that I'll be around. Look out for me."

This was enough. He stood back up and stepped around the young girl to open the door. Mr Hansel was waiting outside.

"We're done, don't worry Mr Hansel, she'll be fine. I'll find my own way out." He took one more look at Alicia and started off towards the TARDIS.

"Sir, the exit is that way."

"No it isn't."

When he returned to the TARDIS he sank into one of the old chairs in the console room and ran a hand through his hair. He was still smiling. He hadn't noticed Rose leaning on the console.

"So, this personal business. Is it over with?"

To hide the jump she gave him he leapt towards the console and started her up.

"No, we're just getting started." His voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

Rose watched him run around the console with her arms crossed. This wasn't an adventure and she didn't like being left out of whatever was going on.

"Where are we going?"

Finished, the Doctor stepped back from the console. This was about to get serious.

"Omaria, it literally translates to mercy. The indigenous species are a telepathic race called the Amoran. They're a peaceful people. They like peace so much that they abolished the laws to do with marriage and evolved based on a combination of mental and physical rituals the who pair up are so well matched the couldn't possibly want to part. Well, that's the theory anyway. Really, they could have just got rid of the rules and left it at that.

"And we are going to Omaria why?" asked Rose.

"I need to talk to someone." He said gravely. Rose immediately knew she was staying behind again.

"I'll just stick around here."

Now Rose was acting weird but he could deal with her later. Right now he was breathing a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Rose. I wish I could tell you what happened but I can't. It wouldn't be right. I'll be back as soon as I can."

So once again he stepped outside, this time onto a dusty road, and shut the door. He ran down streets lined with dome buildings with hexagon-shaped glass panels as their walls until he found where he was looking for. It was the largest dome with red and orange glass panes. It seemed to be a building of high standing. He knocked on the oval door which was opened by a hominid covered in blue scales which gleamed like the sun on the sea when the sunlight caught them.

"Is it possible to talk to a man called Clman." The Doctor asked in a hurry."

The hominid shut the door which was soon opened by another of the scaly hominids.

"Hello Doctor, you are troubled by... Oh dear, you had better come in." The man, Clman, led the way into a room furnished with red sofa's. "Would you like a drink Doctor? It would be a good idea after the day you've had. No? I would still suggest some Mandala tea, it is very useful in these situations. It would also be a good idea to talk to your friend. She seems very upset."

"She undertands."

"Actually, she is very frustrated with you for not telling her anything and doesn't know why you're suddenly hiding things from her."

"Well I can't tell her, it wouldn't be fair to Alicia."

"Ah, so you've met her then."

"Who?"

"Your Guandan. Clearly the urges are not much different in you than in our own species."

"My Guandan? Oh, that would be Alicia." He muttered even though he knew the Amoran was reading his mind.

"You catch on quickly Doctor"

"What are the urges?" He asked with dread.

"You found Alicia" Hinted Clman.

"Because I thought she should know."

"Or was it because you wanted to see her, the one person you will be spending the rest of your, or rather her, life with?"

"The rest of my life?" The Doctor tried to stay calm because from now on he had no idea what he was doing.

"I think you'll find Doctor, that it will be difficult for you to keep away from her in the future. It would be a good idea to do the Ritual of Allegiance as soon as possible."

"You can read my mind, Clman. Don't wait for me to ask the question." He didn't mean to be rude but he was panicking. Maybe some Mandala tea would be a good idea.

"I'll have some brought in. The Ritual of Allegiance confirms you each accepting the others presence into your lives. It is the beginning of a lasting relationship."

Relationship, lasting relationship! The tea arrived and the Doctor immediately poured himself a cup.

"It is a short and simple ceremony. When could we do this?"

Relationship. He really didn't want to accept that, not with Rose around. He should never have tried to remember or even asked about the mating system here, but the history books had only told him so much.

"Well, not yet. I told her I would see her around and she's to young to remember what she did if she does it now. I'll find a better time and come back."

"Remember Doctor, you only have so much time."

On the walk back to the TARDIS the Doctor had planned to talk to Rose. He sifted through what he could tell her. There wasn't much.

"Finally, you're back. I thought you'd got into trouble again." He grinned as best he could after the conversation and what he was about to have.

"I'm always in trouble." Then he took a deep breath. "Rose I need to talk to you." He held his breath and tried to work out how to explain this. He put his hands on her shoulders and breathed out. You remember I was telling you how the Amorans abolished the marriage laws?" He looked into her eyes and she nodded. "And before when I said I might have done something terrible?" Rose nodded again.

"I don't understand."

"When the Amorans got rid of marriage they replaced it with a Ritual. Earlier, when you asked me what I was doing, I was remembering that ritual. I didn't realise I was actually doing it."

"So, you did a ritual and now you have a..." She didn't have the strength to say the word.

"It's worse than that. Rose, things are going to happen and I have no idea what I'm doing." He tried his best not to look scared. "I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident. A very big accident that no one ever needs to know about. You got that?" He let go of her shoulders and she looked away.

"So, what now? I mean, the Amorans must have told you something?"

"So I find her again, when she's older. There's something the Amorans have to do with us. Another ritual." He neglected to tell her that they would be making some otherwise unnecessary stops on the way, but he had to keep his promise to Alicia.

"Okay? So, what do I do, just sit around here?"

"I have an idea where she might be. I thought we could go get some tea while we're out."

"I can come with you?"

"If you're willing to stake out in a coffee shop."

"Yes, good. So, tea?" It wasn't sinking in very easily but Rose thought she was getting jealous.

The Doctor walked up to the console and set the coordinates just around the corner from where he thought Alicia lived. There was a coffee shop two streets away, with a bit of luck Alicia would walk by and notice them. At the moment Alicia should still be six years old so even if she could tell he was nearby it wouldn't be up to her where she went shopping. After two days of drinking tea Alicia finally walked past holding a woman's hand. Rose noticed the difference in the Doctor when he saw her.

"Who is she Doctor? Which one is she?"

The Doctor didn't turn back until Alicia was out of sight. "Can't you guess?"

"There were a lot of people, you could have been looking at anyone." Rose replied.

"Well, she's gone now."The Doctor picked up his coat and they left.

"Why are we doing this. Why can't you just go up and talk to her?" The Doctor paused and stood still. "Because she's six." His voice was quiet, hesitant. He started walking again in a rush to get off that point. "Which is why I need to find her when she's older."

The shock Rose felt when she realised she was jealous of a six-year old was overpowering. She was nearly left behind. When she reached the TARDIS she sat down and let thoughts reel through her mind. The Doctor, and a kid. Which also meant the Doctor had created a link with someone at least 894 years younger than himself. What about her! Why wasn't it her? true she knew nothing about how the Amoran ritual worked and she had the feeling that the Doctor didn't either. Still, she was out done by a six-year old. She didn't know whether to feel sorry for the child or not. After all she was only twenty, but she wasn't married to him, however much she might want to be and this girl, this little kid had no idea! She'd barely met the man. She knew nothing about him but she was suddenly a rival in an unknown battle. Never mind the fact that she'd won already. At least that was what Rose thought. Well, she wasn't going to go down that easily. Then she began to think logically.

"You are in a lot of trouble." She managed to say, not realising that the Doctor had gone and come back at least once already. "You're right, no one can ever find out about this." UNIT would have a field day if they found out.

"Okay, I think she should be seven by now. Only one way to find out!" He once again left the TARDIS with Rose still inside it. It was obvious that he already knew how old Alicia was but he hoped Rose was to distracted to notice. He had no idea what she was thinking about, but again, that could wait until later.  
This time he walked out into a park. He didn't see Alicia straight away and then he found her high in the ropes of a climbing frame. Just like the last two times she was looking at him, except this time she didn't look away. She hadn't looked at him this long since the first time they met. He wondered what she was thinking. It was a lot longer for her and he couldn't help thinking how often she thought of him.  
Soon he would have to stop doing this. He didn't really know where the idea came from but as soon as they did the Ritual of Allegiance he planned to stop just seeing her and get to protecting her in the only way he knew how. By having adventures and getting rid of dangerous aliens, like the ones who try to enslave humankind. With any luck she wouldn't notice what was going on and would have a normal childhood. Protecting Earth is what he did anyway, he'd said that to the Sykorax some three Christmas's ago? Or was it last Christmas? Then Torchwood had blown them up. He didn't think he would ever get over Torchwood. That name meant trouble. They went against everything he stood for. Perhaps he should protect her from them as well. Why was Christmas always a nightmare? At least she didn't live in London. He groaned as he opened the TARDIS door.

"What happened?"

"I was thinking about Torchwood."

"Oh."

"I think I know the perfect place." He muttered. On his various small visits to Alicia the Doctor had found out small things about her routine, like she went to her grandparents every weekend and that they had a house kept back from the road surrounded by fields.

"The perfect place for what?"

"For that other Ritual I mentioned."

"I'm sorry?"

"The Amorans need to do a second Ritual. I found somewhere where I can get to Alicia easily and the Ritual can take place away from prying eyes."

"So, she's called Alicia."

"Yes." The TARDIS landed and the Doctor left again. He landed in front of the same red and orange dome as the last time he had been on Omaria. If he was right he had been five minutes. He walked up to the door but it was opened before he could knock. It was Clman.

"I sensed your presence. We are ready." The man gestured to four other Amorans who were holding various sized rocks and wearing red robes. Clman however turned to pick up a potted tree. "We will be needing it for the Ritual." Answered Clman to the silent question. "I can explain the Ritual now or later?"

"Perhaps it would be better to explain in front of Alicia as well."

"If that is what you want." The Amoran bowed telling the Doctor to lead the way. The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors and each of them walked in.

"Rose this is Clman and..." Realising he didn't know any of the others he trailed off there.

"We are the Order of the Mathe." Each member bowed. None of the Amorans put down what they were holding. Expecting short and bumpy trip after reading both the Doctor's and Rose's minds concerning the Doctor's driving they thought it would be better to hold the artefacts. The Doctor and Rose walked to one side of the room.

"What are they going to do?"

"I don't know" Was the Doctors completely honest answer.

"So you have no idea why they have a tree?"

"Well, I'm guessing it's sacred." Rose rolled her eyes. What would be the point of it if it wasn't?

"Doctor, if you please?" called out one of the Amorans.

The Doctor walked over to the console and set the coordinates for Shobdon, 2008. Specifically, a field. Once the whirring and the shaking stopped and the normally proud looking Amorans got themselves back together they exited the TARDIS. All except Rose, who the Amorans had told wasn't allowed to witness such a personal ceremony. That meant the scanner had to be turned off as well. This just made her jealousy of Alicia worse. The Amorans went to a clear spot in the middle of the field. The Doctor went to find a now eight year old Alicia. It was a long walk but he found her near a river. There was a boy there to, who the Doctor recognised as Alicia's brother. Time seemed to have slowed down to allow Alicia to leave unnoticed. Her brother wasn't moving but she was turning looking at the spectacle. Eventually she noticed the Doctor, standing not far away. He signalled for her to come with him. He didn't know what to say so he didn't say anything and, even though he really wanted to hold her hand he managed not to. She was still to fragile. Of what he had no idea but she was to fragile for what would happen if he touched her. Touching meant something would happen, something huge and he got the idea that it would be very painful. Not touching her, no, what would happen afterwards.  
When he had left, the Amorans had only started setting the rocks down. Now they were in a large circle. Also, there was an old tree where they were standing, but he was sure it wasn't there before. Could it have been that tiny plant they brought with them? When Alicia saw them, she hid behind the Doctor. He turned around and knelt in front of her, just like he did two years ago.

"It's okay, don't be afraid of them. They won't hurt you." He whispered the words to her quietly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Alicia nodded, he got up and they walked over to the Amorans. Then Clman began to explain what was going to happen.

"All you two have to do is stand in the circle facing each other and when I ask you to repeat what I say, then you repeat after me. Most of the Ritual is us doing things, but don't worry about that, just make sure you don't look away from each other. You may be distracted by some sounds, but whatever you do, do not look away."

The two of them entered the circle and faced each other. It was difficult for Alicia, but she still looked into the Doctors eyes. The Doctor looked down and saw that she was smiling. It was a lovely smile, trusting. Especially since she was surrounded by unknown creatures. The Amorans started chanting and the first of five larger stones began to glow. As the chanting increased the glow began to spread to several smaller stones surrounding it. Then an explosion happened. It was small but everyone jumped. Still the Doctor and Alicia didn't look away. After the explosion the song changed and the second large stone began to glow. once again the chanting increased and the glow spread until a small explosion was produced. The song changed again and a third rock began to glow. This time before the glow could spread outwards Clman interrupted, but the Order kept chanting.

"Doctor, repeat after me. To the states I pledge allegiance to my beloved."

The Doctor had forgotten this bit and it was harder to remember the words because the connection between himself and Alicia was easily getting stronger.

"What?"

"To the states I pledge allegiance to my beloved!" Clman had to shout above the chanting.

"To the states I pledge allegiance to my beloved." The Doctor shouted back.

"Alicia, say to the states I pledge allegiance to my beloved."

By now the glow had spread to the surrounding rocks and she had to say it before the glow exploded.

"I pledge allegiance to my beloved." Her voice could just be heard.

"That'll do."

Then the third explosion erupted. Both the Doctor and Alicia felt something change in them, something almost unnoticed. Alicia's hand started reaching towards the Doctor. The song changed twice more and twice more explosions happened, each louder than the one before. Even when the Amorans stopped chanting Alicia and the Doctor didn't stop looking at each other. Eventually they were forced apart until the Doctor was able to take Alicia back to the river. Now it was even more difficult not to touch her. "To fragile, to fragile." was all that was stopping him, even though he had no idea what he was trying to protect her from.


	2. Chapter 2

It started with tapping on the SS. Marigold. It was where he had taken Rose as a treat after the Ritual of Allegiance.

Tap, tap, tap.

They were sitting at one of the tables in the 1920's style restaurant. It was just one of the restaurants the cruise liners offered.

Tap, tap, tap.

When they arrived, Rose had changed into a simple, gold, floor length dress. The Doctor liked it. Rose asked what he thought. He played it down.

Tap, tap, tap.

The waiters were androids.

Tap, tap, tap.

The Doctor didn't like them.

Tap, tap, tap.

But that wasn't why he was tapping.

"Doctor, your're tapping."

"What?"

Tap, tap, tap.

"You're tapping Doctor."

He looked at his hand and saw she was right. He consciously stopped tapping.

"Sorry, was it annoying you?"

He tried to distract himself with the menu. A moment later it started again.

"Doctor, you're tapping again."

He held the menu with both hands and gripped hard. He wasn't looking at it, he just needed to hold something to stop the tapping. But then,

Tap, tap, tap.

He started tapping the menu.

"Doctor."

"Is it hot in here?" He put down the menu and put his hands under the table where Rose couldn't see his tapping.

Tap, tap, tap.

"A bit. Are you alright Doctor?"

"Yes."

Tap, tap, tap.

"Can I take your order?" It was the android who met them at the door. Steve, he thought.

"I'll just have the special." said the Doctor, he hadn't read the menu.

"Me too." The android left.

Tap, tap, tap.

Are you sure you want to stay Doctor?"

"I'm fine Rose."

Tap, tap, tap.

It was making him nervous. He tried changing the conversation.

"Don't you think these androids are a bit old fashioned?"

"Maybe it's to go with the decor."

Tap, tap, tap.

"No, these cruise liners are at the height of their days. This is the 51st century, they should be able to afford more personal androids. These are to mechanical."

Tap, tap, tap.

It was getting quicker. He couldn't control it, so he started counting.

"One, two, three, four," He breathed the words, hoping Rose wouldn't notice.

"Doctor, what are you doing?"

"Nothing." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Five, six,"

"Are you tapping again?"

"No." He was counting at the moment. Rose was just worrying to much. That was all. "Seven, eight, nine." He wiped his brow.

"I think we should leave."

Tap, tap, tap.

No, he couldn't start tapping again.

"Ten."

"Doctor, are you?"

"No." He interrupted her.

"What?"

"No, I don't want to leave." This was supposed to be a treat. "Eleven, twelve."

"We're leaving."

"Thirteen."

"What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"Did you say thirteen?"

He felt like he couldn't stop shivering.

"Fourteen."

"Are you counting?"

"No. Fifteen."

"We're leaving. Now."

"Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen."

"Doctor, I want to go home."

"What?"

Tap, tap, tap.

"This is getting ridiculous."

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

"Why do you want to go home?"

"Doctor, stop tapping."

His hand was back on the table.

"No. Ninteen."

"Stop tapping or when you take me home I won't be coming back."

"I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I can't stop tapping. I've tried."

"Is that why your counting?"

"Twenty, I mean yes."

"It's not working."

"I know, twenty-one."

"So, stop counting."

"Why? Twenty two."

"Because it's not working!" She shouted. "Sorry."

"It's fine."

Tap, tap.

"Twenty-"

"Stop."

He held his breath to stop counting.

"Doctor, we have to go."

This time he agreed with her. He got up and followed Rose, rubbing his fingers together.

When they got back to the TARDIS he started tapping the console. Even when he was putting in the coordinates for the Powell estate he kept tapping. As soon as she was gone he let himself have the panic attack he knew was coming sooner or later. He didn't know where it came from. This sort of thing just didn't happen. He leaned on the console and tried to take deep breaths. He was like that for a few minutes. What was going on? When he felt ready he sat on the floor and closed his eyes. His breathing was easier now but he still felt weak. He opened his eyes and stared at the floor. He thought about Alicia. He wanted to see her so much. To know she was safe, but he couldn't. She had to be safe from him. Maybe when she was older. But she was always older. He had a time machine he could always find her when she was older. So, why didn't he? Because of the consequences. He could see her whenever he liked. He could just go and have a look, while Rose wasn't here. But could he restrain himself from... From the unknown? They would never know. Alicia nor Rose would ever need to know. If he stayed calm Rose would never need know what he did. Just thinking about the possibility was making him feel better, so he set out to find her. It was easy, to easy. He knew exactly where she would be. He didn't really know why, but he decided to find Alicia when she was twelve. Maybe he thought, if things went wrong, that she would be strong enough to cope with the consequences.

He tried to watch from a distance, honestly he did. He watched her as she left the house with a suitcase. He followed her all the way to where she was staying. He watched her at the services on the way, never quite ready to leave. He always stayed out of site, as much as he could. And when she arrived he watched as she greeted her friends. She seemed so happy, laughing like that. He moved to go over to her, but stopped himself. They went inside to quickly for him. He waited for hours until they came back out again. He followed them to an old building. It was a cinema. It didn't look very popular. He couldn't wait any longer. He knew he shouldn't have come because this might happen, but he had to talk to her, he just had to. So, he waited until he was sure he could go in without too many people seeing him. There was no one behind the counter so he went behind it to pretend that he worked there, until the real assistant came back. Hopefully that wouldn't be to soon. This was a bad idea and he knew it. He hated the job but there were only two customers before Alicia came downstairs. He was nearly done serving them, but Alicia turned round when she saw him and he thought she was going to walk out. She stopped as soon as he was behind her and he realised she was only going to sit down. He didn't know what made him do it but he whispered in her ear. He had to lean forward because she was still quite short.

"It's been a long time." Completely different lengths of time and much longer for her, but it was plenty long enough for him. He hadn't noticed that she was tense before but he felt her relax. Then he realised what he'd done. He hadn't been able to resist it. He had lost control and before he knew it he had put his hand on the skin of her neck by her shoulder. She had relaxed, which he thought was good, but now he'd touched her. He'd put her in danger. He didn't know what the consequences were, he didn't know what she was in danger from. Was it him? Was it something else? Whatever it was it was to late now. He heard her whisper something.

"Why do you follow me?"

She'd seen him. Either that or she'd known some other way. All the time he'd been following her she'd known he was there. And now, what with the impending consequences of his actions what could he tell her but what he'd been putting off for years of her life? He thought that maybe she would understand some of it now she was twelve. Surely she remembered the Ritual of Allegiance though?

"Don't you remember? Did we not say the words to the states I pledge allegiance to my beloved?"

He felt her tense. She remembered, but what was wrong?

"Yes, I remember."

"That is why I follow you." It was the closest he could get to an overall explanation at the moment.

"I don't understand, what has that got to do with you following me?" He was going to have to start from the beginning. Tell her everything. He didn't want to tell her everything, it was embarrassing. What could he use to help her understand?

"Imagine two people getting married."

"You're saying I married you!" That was a bad choice. She turned on him and he backed away. Somehow she frightened him, and he panicked.

"No." Not the way she was thinking. "Listen, think of marriage and then think of wanting a partner but not realising you have one already, like soulmates." The words were just falling out of his mouth. They barely made sense to him. He didn't even know what was going on. If she got anything out of this then he hoped it wasn't false information. He hoped no one upstairs could hear them. He scrambled for bit's he remembered Clman saying. "It's like, we accepted that the other is there. More of a protection sort of thing." He really hoped that was true. "We didn't say any of the vows you would normally say, in fact, we didn't say any vows at all. We just pledged allegiance in front of the Amoran." They paused while she tried to work the garble out. By now the Doctor was several steps away from Alicia, almost like he was protecting himself.

"Why did you pledge allegiance to me?" She said it quietly. He had to work out an answer, but he didn't know what it was. He sighed.

"This is going to take a while. Why don't we take a walk?" He could take her to the TARDIS, that was going to come up at some point, it always did. He had some questions of his own he wanted answers to and Alicia would have to be there because right now she thought he had all the answers, but he didn't, and in there no one would be able to hear them. He had the feeling that this conversation was going to get loud. But she didn't resist and they left. Now, where to start. He didn't have to think long.

"Why did you choose me?" They were back to that question, but he thought he had an answer now.

"Well, I didn't choose you, not as such." Bad wording. It was only after he said them he realised where this was going to go.

"What do you mean, this happened by accident?" Oh, no. He'd never planned for this conversation, but that was one of the few things he hoped she'd never find out, but he had to admit to it.

"Yes, and no." He shoved his hands in his pockets and started rubbing his fingers.

"So it was an accident then. Honestly, to find out I'm married, at eight years old I will add," It was more like six but he wasn't going to tell her that. "is one thing, but to then find out it wasn't on purpose!"

He was glad they were close to the TARDIS because she was beginning to shout. He didn't want her to be angry with him, but what was he supposed to expect? And he still hadn't told her he wasn't human yet. He ran a hand down his face. When he said they weren't married he was being truthful though. It came from a Ritual, not a couple of words.

"We're not married."

"We're connected in a way no other two people are, in some kind of 'couple' relationship, that can't be broken. In my books, that's marriage Doctor." When she said it like that it sounded close enough, except marriage could be broken and as far as he knew, this couldn't. Which only made him feel more guilty about it. "How do you even know these Amoran people anyway, where are they from?"

"I should start at the beginning. First thing you need to know, I'm not human." Alicia tripped and the Doctor had to catch her. She'd finally turned pale. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, my husbands an alien... got it."

He groaned. She just called him her husband. He was beginning to feel like when he visited the Clman a few weeks ago. He wished he had some Mandala tea now. He wasn't surprised that Alicia believed he was an alien. She'd been through a lot. It wasn't that difficult.

"Also, I have a spaceship." He hated that word. "It's called the TARDIS."

"Even better."

"It stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space."

"Great, I'm married to an alien who travels not just in space, but time as well."

"Is that bad?"

"Just confirming."

"Here we are." He produced a key from his pocket and walked up to his police box.

"What are you doing?"

"Showing you my TARDIS."

"It's a bit small."

He always liked this bit. Maybe, she'd hate him less after this.

"That's what everyone says at first."

"You mean there are more?" He caught the hint.

"No, people visit." He walked in and left the door open for Alicia. She took a minute before following inside. She walked around a bit but didn't say much. If she was that interested she didn't show it.

"So, now you've told me a bit about yourself please continue to these other aliens who married us."

"We're not married." He sighed and started tapping the rail closest to him.

"Yes, we are."

"The planet Mercy, where the Amorans live has a different marriage system and they explained it to me. The Amorans don't have a strict marriage system anymore because, to keep peace, which is the most important thing on their planet, if someone had a problem within their marriage that would no longer mean peace. Allegiance, which is what we have done, doesn't replace it, it's only part of it. the whole thing is called the Mathe, or change. The allegiance part is all about protection." He was lying through his teeth again. He didn't know any of this for sure. "I was remembering this which must have been when I went too far."

"Hence the accident?" He nodded, trying to build himself up for the next bit. "Please, tell me what this accident involved." He started to feel hot and stopped looking at her. She was laughing. Why was she laughing? He inwardly groaned.

"Do I have to?" It wasn't like him to avoid saying things but when it came to himself it was different.

"We're married now, of course you do." We're not married, he thought. He ran both his hands down his face. He had promised himself he would tell her. So he said it as quickly as possible.

"I secreted a hormone specific to allegiance. It's not funny." Why did she keep on laughing? He didn't like it.

"It is from where I'm sitting. Okay, so tell me more." Wasn't that enough! He was regretting this more and more. Her laughing turned to hiccups and she started teasing him. Don't worry, I don't want to know more about your body than absolutely necessary. Not yet anyway." This time he sighed in relief and wondered, should a twelve-year old be saying something like that? He didn't know how twelve-year olds thought.

"Everyone, even on other planets can sense the hormone," He couldn't believe he was giving sex education to a small human. "even if they don't realise it, but only one person answers. I do mean whatever sex when I say everyone. Some species don't even have different sexes." Which, when he thought about, wasn't all that surprising in some cases. He finally looked at Alicia again. Now she'd turned pink. She was beginning to understand it wasn't all him in this.

"I'm guessing I am the person who decided to... What exactly did I do?" Actually, he had no idea. He'd never bothered to ask the question.

"That is a good question that I don't know the answer to, but I did get an answer somehow and as soon as I saw you I knew it was you." He remembered Alicia when she was six years old. She was so cute. Now she was, still cute, but not the same cute.

"If you don't know how I answered you, how did you find me?" He had a pretty good idea. He thought he had instructions of some kind. Some of them came from the pictures he saw, but that wasn't all of them. He had a hunch, he just wasn't sure if he should tell her.

"I'm not entirely sure, it's as though I just knew how to find you. It only took a few hours." Maybe less. Maybe minutes. He couldn't remember, but he thought she'd feel safer if he said hours.

"You know I was six when that happened." Six year old's had hormone's didn't they?

"That doesn't matter." Except legally, on Earth. "You can be any age to, as the Amorans put it, gain Allegiance." She was lost, he knew it.

"Which means..."

"Which means we're going to find the Amorans and find out what to do next." Normally he wasn't into abducting people, but he didn't bother to ask if she wanted too come or not. As soon as he flicked the first button she gripped the edges of the seat she sat on and glared at him.

"This is safe isn't it. You know what you're doing?" He'd been driving this TARDIS for what, six, seven hundred years? Of course he knew what he was doing.

"I'm over nine-hundred years old, of course, I know what I'm doing."

"Says the person who gained a wife on accident." Good point, but he was still insulted. He also got the feeling the TARDIS didn't like her, which was unhelpful. He kept tapping. He didn't like the way this was going. When they got there he was going to have a word with Clman alone before he introduced Alicia, again.

"They look surprised to see us. Come out when I tell you to." He left the TARDIS and went over to the waiting Amoran.

"You wanted to talk?"

"She hates me. She won't stop glaring at me. And, what's with all the tapping?" He scrunched his hands into a ball to try and stop it.

"Tapping?"

"Yes, it's like a nervous tick. A trick people use to stop having a nervous breakdown."

Realising the kind of thing the Doctor was talking about, since he'd never heard of tapping before, Clman smiled.

"That's perfectly natural Doctor. I wouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about Alicia either. We'll sort this out soon enough. You say you have your Guandan with you, where is she?"

"I told her to wait inside." He went back to the door and motioned for Alicia to come out. He didn't feel like talking to her. He could feel her next to him when she came out.

"You must have many questions, both of you. Come inside and we'll talk in private." The Doctor thought about asking for Mandala tea, but it would probably appear sooner rather than later. He was interested to find that a female Amoran would be joining them since Alicia was there. She introduced herself as Sonata. He saw Alicia go slightly pale and realised Clman must have said something she was thinking.

"They're telepaths." He whispered. There was a stumbled apology, which Clman brushed off before beginning to explain allegiance. He only half listened preferring to concentrate on his tapping problem. He heard a question directed at him.

"You've been doing more than just stalking me haven't you."

"Yes, a lot more." He didn't know why he said it because it was mostly stalking. The tenseness he felt when he realised he'd become a kidnapper and a stalker in just a few weeks made him feel ill. Now Clman was looking at him strangely. The tapping was getting worse.

"It seems he didn't know why he wanted to do some of it." Why was that so surprising? He knew he had no idea what he was doing. Most of the time anyway. His hands were doing double time and he was abnormally hot.

He listened silently to Clman's explanation of the original ritual and was interested to find out Alicia had done something similar, unknowingly. It was when he heard 'his actions are irregular' that he almost didn't manage to hide a growing panic attack. Sonata took Alicia to a different room, just in time because he couldn't hold it in any longer. He collapsed from his tense position and leaned on the small table in the middle of the room. He gulped for breath on his hands and knees and tried his best not to pass out. Clman watched patiently, interested in how different the effects were in the Doctor to his own species. Eventually he succeeded in not passing out and accepted a new mug of tea as he sat against the sofa on the floor.

"Its not going to get any easier Doctor." The Doctor turned his head to look at Clman. "I know you're afraid to touch Alicia again but you've already taken the Ritual of Allegiance. Its about time you got used to each other."

He just shook his head. What was 'got used to' supposed to mean? He already knew she didn't like him.

"Each person has pressure points Doctor. They can be used for lots of things but there will be a single pressure point on each of you that only the other can manipulate. You've already found hers and eventually she'll find yours. That point can be used to relieve your pain Doctor. You're not going to be able to get through life on Mandala tea alone. It's because your staying away from Alicia your having these problems anyway. It's time to get to know her Doctor." He didn't answer." Sonata should be finished by now. You'll both have things to talk about."

After the Doctor had pulled himself back onto the sofa Clman let Alicia back in and left. They didn't talk for a long time. The Doctor didn't want to say anything about what happened to him and he suspected Alicia didn't either. Eventually he felt the silence had gone on long enough so he thought he would try to get to know her better, like Clman had said. He didn't know how to start though which is how he came to this statement.

"You must hate me." He didn't look at her. He wasn't ready.

"Not really. I hated you at first and this is mostly your fault, but I did answer, didn't I. And it was my choice to do that ritual when I was eight. If I hadn't less of this would have happened. In a way we're equally responsible." He smiled a bit. So she didn't hate him. He didn't know what Sonata had said to her but it was nice to at least know that. But she was wrong, they were in no way equally responsible.

"So what have you been doing for the past four years, Doctor?"

He tried to remember each time he'd visited Earth in the four years she was talking about. Almost all of them ended with an argument with aliens.

"Just making sure that Earth hasn't been invaded by dangerous aliens, that sort of thing."

"Wow, all I've done is go to school." He smiled. Good, she hadn't been in imminent danger then. Though he seriously doubted that was all she did.

He finally turned around. She was looking at him. That was a good thing because this time she wasn't glaring at him. It made him feel more comfortable, less scared of her.

"Does that really matter when all I want is for you to be alive and unharmed?" He moved his hand and he accidentally brushed her finger. He pulled back quickly when she shuddered. Then he saw a tear. Had he hurt her? He moved away, just to be on the safe side. But she grabbed his hand. He tried to pull it away, but she wouldn't let go. She was crying, hard. And he was confused. When she touched him it was comforting because he was absolutely sure she was safe. But at the same time he didn't want to touch her, and an hour ago she was trying to be on the other side of the room, now she was trying to get as close as possible. It was weird, and wrong. He needed to know how to stop the tears. They upset him.

"Why are you crying?" He didn't know how to comfort people, but he was trying.

"I don't know. I'm just so happy you're here." She was crying because she was happy to see him? "You're here, and I'm here, and that makes me happy." Well,, that was good, he wanted her to be happy. It was one of the things he wanted most. "But if you I let go then I won't be happy anymore, and i'll stop crying." What?

"Well, we don't want you to be unhappy do we?" But we can't sit like this forever either. He had Rose to get back to.

"No" She whispered.

"But you have to let go, and you know that." He gently used his other hand to take Alicia's off his trapped one.

On the way back to the TARDIS he had a thought.

"Alicia, do you have a phone?"

"No, why would I, I'm twelve?" He would just have to find one. It took him a little while but he did find a spare mobile in the back of a cubhoard. He put in his number.

"Here. Keep it hidden. Its got one number in it, mine. Only call me if its an emergency and don't give it to anyone else."

He dropped her back off at the cinema feeling a lot better than when he'd picked her up.

"Oh, and Doctor. Call me Ally, I don't like Alicia."


End file.
